Questions That Open Doors

The Power of Good Questions

Jesus was a master questioner. Throughout the Gospels, he asked questions that cut through pretense, exposed assumptions, and opened hearts to truth. "Who do you say that I am?" "Do you want to be healed?" "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord,' and not do what I tell you?" These questions invited response, created space for reflection, and moved conversations toward transformation.

In witness to Latter-day Saints, good questions are often more effective than declarations. Questions engage rather than attack. They respect the person's agency to think and respond. They avoid the adversarial dynamic that arises when we simply tell people they're wrong. And they expose problems that the person must then wrestle with themselves.

Principles for Good Questions

Ask with Genuine Curiosity

The best questions come from genuine curiosity rather than rhetorical strategy. If you're asking only to trap or to set up your next point, people sense it. But if you're genuinely interested in understanding their perspective—even as you hope to share yours—the conversation feels different.

You don't have to pretend you have no perspective. But you can genuinely want to understand how they think, what they believe, and why. This posture communicates respect and opens doors that aggressive questioning would close.

Listen to the Answers

Asking good questions accomplishes nothing if you don't listen to the answers. Too often, we ask a question while mentally rehearsing our next point, missing what the person actually says. Real conversation requires real listening—hearing not just words but meaning, emotion, and the concerns behind the words.

Follow-up questions often emerge from careful listening. "That's interesting— can you tell me more about that?" "You mentioned X—what did you mean?" "How does that connect with Y?" These demonstrate that you're actually engaged, not just running through a script.

Avoid Gotcha Questions

"Gotcha" questions—designed to trap the other person in contradiction or embarrassment—typically backfire. Even if you "win" the exchange, you lose the relationship. The person feels ambushed, becomes defensive, and closes down.

Better to ask questions that genuinely invite reflection, even if they raise difficult issues. The goal is not to make them feel stupid but to help them think more deeply. A question that produces defensive reaction has failed, regardless of how clever it was.

Follow the Person, Not the Script

No list of questions works for every conversation. The questions below are starting points, not a formula. Follow the person —their interests, their concerns, their readiness. If they're fascinated by history, explore history. If they're wrestling with doubt, meet them there. If they're content and uninterested, respect that and simply be a friend.

Questions for Understanding

Before challenging anything, seek to understand. These questions help you learn where the person is and demonstrate genuine interest in their perspective.

About Their Faith

"What does being a Latter-day Saint mean to you personally?" This open-ended question invites them to share what matters most. Is it family? Community? Certainty? Service? Their answer reveals what draws them and what they might fear losing.

"What first drew you to the church?" (for converts) or "What keeps you in the church?" (for lifelong members). Understanding their attachment helps you know what needs the gospel must address.

"Tell me about your testimony. How did you come to know the church is true?" This invites them to share their burning in the bosom experience—which you can later explore epistemologically—while also showing interest in their spiritual journey.

About Their Beliefs

"Help me understand—what do you believe about God? Who is he?" This reveals whether they hold to the Lorenzo Snow couplet (God was once a man) or a softer view. Don't assume; let them tell you.

"What do you believe happens when you die?" This opens conversation about the three degrees of glory, exaltation, and what they're ultimately hoping for. It also reveals whether they have assurance or anxiety.

"What role does Jesus play in your faith?" Listen for how they describe his person (elder brother? one of the gods?) and his work (makes salvation possible? provides resurrection?). This reveals how much common ground actually exists.

Questions About Knowing Truth

Since Mormon epistemology (the burning in the bosom) is foundational to their faith, questions that probe how they know what they know can be particularly fruitful.

"You mentioned you prayed and received a witness. How do you know that experience was from God rather than from your own emotions?" This gently raises the reliability question without dismissing their experience.

"Muslims feel powerful certainty when reading the Quran. They would say Allah confirmed its truth to them. How is your experience different from theirs?" The parallel to other religions' testimonies is hard to dismiss and raises the question of whether feelings can prove contradictory things true.

"If your spiritual experience contradicted what the Bible clearly teaches, which would you trust?" This probes the relationship between subjective experience and objective revelation. Many haven't considered which has priority.

"The Bible says to 'test the spirits' because false prophets exist. Have you ever tested your testimony against Scripture? What would it look like to do that?" This introduces biblical epistemology as an alternative to feelings-based knowing.

Questions About the Gospel

Questions about salvation, grace, and standing with God can reveal the burdens many Mormons carry and open doors for the genuine good news.

"If you died tonight, do you know for certain you would be in the celestial kingdom? How do you know?" Most Mormons cannot answer with certainty because their system doesn't allow assurance. This reveals the anxiety that the gospel addresses.

"What would happen if you stopped keeping all the requirements— tithing, Word of Wisdom, temple attendance? Would God still accept you?" This probes whether they experience grace as unconditional or performance- based. The honest answer reveals the weight of the worthiness system.

"The Book of Mormon says we're saved by grace 'after all we can do.' How do you know when you've done all you can do? Could you always do more?" The impossible standard of "all you can do" becomes apparent when examined directly. There's always more you could have done.

"What is the good news of the gospel to you? What makes it good?" Listen to whether their answer focuses on what Christ has done (good news) or what they must do (good advice). The difference is significant.

Questions About History

Historical questions can be powerful but must be asked carefully. The goal is not to attack but to invite honest examination of evidence.

"Have you ever looked into how the Book of Mormon was actually translated? What did you find?" Many Mormons learned a sanitized version; discovering the seer stone in the hat can be jarring. This question invites them to investigate rather than being told.

"I've read that there are multiple accounts of the First Vision that differ in significant details. Have you ever explored those differences?" This raises a historical problem without attacking. The question is genuine— have they looked into it?

"The church recently changed the Book of Mormon introduction from 'principal ancestors' to 'among the ancestors' of Native Americans. Why do you think they made that change?" This opens discussion of DNA evidence without making accusations. Let them wrestle with the implications.

"How do you understand the priesthood ban against Black members? If prophets were wrong about that, how do you know what else they might have been wrong about?" This is a sensitive topic but an important one. The reversal on race raises genuine questions about prophetic reliability.

"If you discovered something in church history that troubled you, what would you do? Who would you talk to?" This probes whether they have safe spaces for doubt and can reveal their assumptions about loyalty, questions, and truth-seeking.

Personal Questions

Sometimes the most powerful questions are personal ones that invite vulnerability and genuine sharing.

"Have you ever had doubts about the church? What did you do with them?" This normalizes doubt and may reveal struggles they haven't shared with anyone. Be a safe place for honesty.

"Do you ever feel exhausted by all the demands—callings, activities, temple attendance, everything expected of you?" Many Mormons are tired but don't admit it. Acknowledging the burden can be a relief.

"What would you lose if you ever left the church? What keeps you in?" This surfaces the social costs that keep many Mormons in place even when they doubt. Understanding these costs helps you appreciate what they're facing.

"If you could ask God one question and get a definite answer, what would you ask?" This reveals their deepest spiritual concerns— which may or may not be what you expected. Meet them where they actually are.

Following Up Wisely

Don't Push Too Hard

When a question lands and the person grows thoughtful or uncomfortable, don't press too hard. Let them sit with the question. You can say, "I don't need an answer right now—it's just something I've wondered about" or "That's a lot to think about. No pressure."

Pushing for immediate conclusions usually backfires. People need time to process, especially when foundational beliefs are at stake. Trust that a well-placed question continues to work even after the conversation ends.

Be Willing to Answer Questions

Good conversations go both ways. Be prepared to answer questions about your own faith—why you believe, how you know, what difference it makes. Don't deflect their questions while insisting they answer yours.

"Why aren't you Mormon? Have you ever prayed about the Book of Mormon? Why do you believe the Bible?" These are fair questions. Have thoughtful answers ready—not rehearsed speeches, but genuine explanations of your faith and how you came to it.

Stay in Relationship

Questions are not one-time weapons but ongoing conversation. Stay in the relationship for the long haul. Come back to topics over time. Build trust gradually. Be the kind of friend who can ask hard questions precisely because you've earned the right through consistent care.

Questions as Love

Good questions are an act of love. They respect the other person's capacity to think, to wrestle, to discover. They invite rather than coerce. They create space for the Spirit to work in ways that pronouncements cannot.

Jesus asked questions because he cared about people—not as targets for his message but as image-bearers worthy of genuine engagement. When we follow his pattern, we communicate that we see our Mormon friends as people, not projects.

May we learn to ask questions that open doors—doors to understanding, doors to relationship, and ultimately doors to the truth that sets people free. And may we do so with the patience, humility, and love of Christ, trusting him to do what only he can do: transform hearts and bring his lost sheep home.